I am not sure if it is because I am tired after a late night of work, but I suddenly felt a bit philosophical. I came to think about what is wrong with me (in general, not because of a specific incident). First, I do not think, all my problems can be addressed to just one fault – I believe I have a rather high number of faults. But at least one of them seems to be that I am sort of lost.

Not lost in the sense that I do not know where I am. I know (or have a pretty good idea) where I come from, and thereby I know where I am right now. I just have absolutely no idea where I am going from here. So I am not lost, I just don’t know where to go.

So often I see people, who apparently do everything the cool way. They seem to know where they are, and why – and where they are going – and the coolest way to go where they are going. I am not one of those people! I very seldom know why I go where I go, or do what I do. And I do not know how to look cool while I do that.

Is it cool to be cool about not being cool? Is it possible to be lost if you know where you are?

I don’t know.

Live with intention
Walk to the edge
Listen hard
Practice wellness
Play with abandon
Laugh
Choose with no regret
Appreciate your friends
Continue to learn
Do what you love
Live as if this is all there is

Quote: Mary Anne Radmacher

This blog is still active, but as you can see, I do not write much these days. I want to write more, I need to write more, but inspiration does not come easy.

Inspiration does not come easy. The main reasons for me not to fill this blog with interesting news are:
1. I do not have any interesting news to write about
2. Lack of inspiration
3. Besides work, I spend my time painting and decorating my home

A quiet start to the new year.

I can feel that it requires more than just inspiration to run a blog. I will also have to be in the right mood – and that has lagged a bit in January. Hopefully it will be better.

I have heard about people who have been quite outraged over the song “If You Seek Amy” by Britney. Possibly not because of the text, but because of the title, that – when you say it – may be offensive to the very delicate souls.

This applies only to the delicate souls who are in possession of a derailed thinking. Nobody else would discover that the innocent text may sound as if you spell out something else.

It goes without saying that the only people that are outraged are people who love to be outraged. To all you outraged people out there, let me just say F… you – and to everyone else: F— Me! 😛

Another year has gone by, and once again it is time to look back – using this Blog as extended memory.

The year started with a fire. Most likely caused by a stray New Year rocket, a portion of a farm, close to where I live, burned down on the first day. Luckily no people or farm animals were hurt, but it looked very dramatic with huge flames and lots of fire engines.

February came and went without me having anything intelligent to say about it.

In March I started to think more about Life, The Universe and Everything – or at least of ways to improve my role in all of this: How to navigate through life, and to stop spending so much time worrying about nothing and everything.

In April, I continued my quest to beat inner demons; this time perfectionism.

May was spent on not writing blog posts. But I did manage to write a post about things I had planed to write about – and within the year I did fulfil the plan.

I only made one post in June. And that was just a new excuse for not writing more posts: Me using so much time getting a certification in some of Microsofts products instead of writing here. I did get the certificate. It did not bring buckets of happiness, but it was nice not having to prepare for any more exams.
I also got a new gas boiler, but I never really wrote about all the money I had to spend – money I could have used on travelling and beer.

In July I could tell that I still – almost – had my worrying demon under control.

I did write some posts in August, but probably nothing memorable.

September came with yet another writers block. I could have written about troubles getting a house painted – but instead I spent my time painting a house.

October had some posts that might look a bit more interesting – or not. It started with some personal development: A hint to clean up. This is a rule I still try to live by.
Later came a post about bees and something about making comments (which nobody did).

Then came November, with dark thoughts: Should I continue this blog? I have had difficulties finding inspiration to write new posts – and if nobody makes just a small comment from time to time, it does not make it easier. At the moment I plan to continue, even if I am the only one writing.

At the beginning of December, it looked like yet a month without anything new. But I finally found time, energy and inspiration to write a bit about singing truth, and about the strange ways in the world of blogging.

That was that. I hope to write more in 2009, and to have you visit my blog.

It was another Blogger that made me start blogging. His own blog closed down in 2008 because of writers block.

It was a fantastic Australian blog that inspired me to continue blogging. That blog also closed down in 2008. I am not sure why.

I have also had my doubt whether to continue blogging. But at this moment, I want to continue. It all depends on inspiration.

Freely modified from the song “Hurt”:

  what have I become?
  my sweetest friend
  every Blog I know
  goes away in the end

  beneath the stains of time
  the writings disappear
  they go somewhere else
  I am still right here

(The real song is made by Nine Inch Nails – with a fantastic cover version by Johnny Cash)